Can You Be Proud of Yourself Before You Have “Success”?

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Hey friends,

Today I launched something I’ve never created before.

A mother-daughter connection event called Color Outside the Lines.

As I recorded this podcast, exactly zero people had signed up.

And honestly?

I still felt incredibly proud.

That sentence would have been impossible for me to say five years ago.

For most of my life, my confidence, sense of worth, and ability to relax were directly tied to outcomes. Grades. Achievement. Being liked. Podcast downloads. Retreat registrations. Business revenue.

In this episode, I’m sharing what’s shifted, why entrepreneurship has become one of the greatest healing experiences of my life, and why I think focusing on identity may be even more powerful than focusing on outcomes.

🎧 In This Episode We Explore:

✨ Why entrepreneurship became one of the deepest healing experiences of my life

✨ The surprising shift from measuring success by outcomes to measuring it by identity

✨ How following “creative breadcrumbs” led me to create a mother-daughter event I never could have planned

✨ Why meaningful work often brings both incredible joy and unexpected grief

✨ Why we need community when we’re building a life that feels aligned

✨ What it really means to trust yourself before you have proof

When Success Determines Your Worth

For years, I believed I was simply “goal-oriented.”

Looking back, I can see that something much deeper was happening.

My nervous system only relaxed after receiving external validation.

If things were going well, I felt okay.

If they weren’t, I questioned everything about myself.

Entrepreneurship didn’t create that pattern.

It exposed it.

And once I could finally see it, I had the opportunity to begin healing it.

Identity Is Different Than Outcomes

I’ve often encouraged people to enjoy the process rather than obsess over the outcome.

Recently, I heard someone describe it a little differently:

Focus on identity instead.

That language immediately clicked.

Instead of asking:

“Did this work?”

I’ve started asking:

“Who am I becoming while I create this?”

That simple shift has changed how I show up in my business, my parenting, and honestly, my entire life.

Following Creative Breadcrumbs

People often ask me how I knew I wanted to create retreats, communities, or now, mother-daughter experiences.

The truth is…

I didn’t.

There wasn’t one defining moment.

There were hundreds of tiny ones.

Dance.

Books like Hunt, Gather, Parent and Dopamine Kids.

Watching families in Guatemala.

Learning about play.

Conversations with other entrepreneurs.

Listening to what made me feel more alive.

Eventually those breadcrumbs became a path.

I didn’t design it.

I discovered it.

The Part Nobody Talks About

Here’s something I don’t hear discussed very often.

Doing work that feels deeply aligned doesn’t only bring excitement.

It also brings grief.

Recently I created a playlist for my upcoming mother-daughter event.

Every time I listen to it, I cry.

Not because I’m worried about whether the event will sell.

Because something about it feels profoundly me.

I’ve come to believe that meaningful work shines a light on every place we’ve spent years disconnected from ourselves.

The joy is incredible.

The grief can be just as powerful.

And somehow…

Both are signs we’re moving in the right direction.

We Weren’t Meant to Do This Alone

Whether it’s entrepreneurship, parenting, healing, or creativity…

Growth is uncomfortable.

That’s why I believe so deeply in community.

I’ve experienced firsthand how much easier it is to keep taking aligned action when someone can compassionately hold space for your fear instead of trying to eliminate it.

Sometimes we don’t need another strategy.

We need someone who can remind us that we’re still worthy while we’re learning.

A Powerful Reminder for Therapists, Helpers, & Creatives

Maybe the question isn’t:

“Will this work?”

Maybe the better question is:

“Who am I becoming by creating this?”

Because at the end of the day, I don’t want my life to be measured only by what I accomplished.

I want it to be measured by whether I had the courage to trust my creative instincts.

To build things that mattered.

To love the people around me well.

And to become someone who believes she’s worthy before the results arrive.

Connect With Me

If this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you.

You can:

Sometimes one honest conversation is the beginning of everything.

Disclaimer

This podcast and blog are intended for educational and informational purposes only and are not a substitute for psychotherapy, medical care, or individualized mental health treatment. If you’re struggling with your mental health, please seek support from a qualified healthcare professional.