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Episode 178. Finding Your Zone of Genius: Self-Trust, Purpose & Creating Work That Lights You Up with Kendra Vargas
What if the experiences you’ve been through, including some of the most painful ones, could help you discover more of who you are and how you want to show up in the world?
And what if creating a meaningful life isn’t about eliminating self-doubt, but learning to trust yourself enough to move forward even when that doubt is present?
In this episode of The Innovative Therapist Podcast, I’m joined by Kendra Vargas, a perinatal psychotherapist, group practice owner, and founder of Authentically You Psychotherapy.
Kendra has transformed her personal experience navigating infertility into a career centered on helping others feel less alone. Through therapy, support groups, retreats, professional training, and a fertility membership, she’s found creative ways to bring together her clinical expertise, lived experience, and natural love of connecting people.
What I especially love about Kendra’s story is how clearly she embodies something I talk about often on this podcast: Healing is about so much more than reducing symptoms or changing behaviors. It’s also about building the self-trust to create a life that feels meaningful, nourishing, and authentically yours.
We explore what it means to find your zone of genius, why meaningful work can still lead to burnout, and how to keep showing up for what matters even when fear, shame, or self-doubt come along for the ride.
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In This Episode, We Explore:
- Turning personal pain into meaningful purpose: How Kendra’s experiences with primary and secondary infertility shaped her professional path and inspired her to create the support she once wished she’d had.
- Finding your zone of genius: Recognizing the work that naturally energizes you and finding ways to do more of it.
- The healing power of community: Why groups and retreats can create connection, belonging, and understanding that many people struggle to find elsewhere.
- Building self-trust through action: Why waiting until you feel completely confident can keep you from pursuing meaningful opportunities.
- Doing work you love without burning out: The benefits and challenges of being multipassionate, diversifying your work, and learning to honor your capacity.
- Navigating shame, rejection, and self-doubt: How entrepreneurship and creative risk-taking can become unexpected opportunities for personal growth.
- Creating from your values: Why new projects and opportunities are most meaningful when they strengthen your larger mission rather than pull you away from it.
From Infertility to Creating the Support She Wished Existed
Kendra didn’t begin her career intending to specialize in reproductive and perinatal mental health.
In fact, she spent the first part of her career working with children and adolescents.
But after years of trying to conceive, she and her husband eventually pursued IVF. Although their first experience resulted in the birth of their daughter, Kendra remembers how incredibly isolating the process felt.
She wanted someone to talk to who understood what she was going through.
That experience planted a seed.
When she finished treatment at her fertility clinic, she told her physician that someday she hoped to return with a support group for others navigating infertility.
And she did.
Today, Kendra’s practice offers multiple support groups, including groups for people navigating infertility, pregnancy after infertility, and secondary infertility.
Her own journey also included the grief of unsuccessful attempts to have another child and the difficult decision to stop fertility treatment.
One of the most powerful moments she shares is when her therapist reminded her that she was allowed to change her mind.
That simple permission helped her recognize that she didn’t have to keep following a plan simply because it was the plan she’d originally made.
Sometimes self-trust means giving ourselves permission to choose differently, even when that choice comes with grief.
What Is Your Zone of Genius?
One of the things I appreciate most about Kendra is how much she lights up when she talks about bringing people together.
She loves groups. She loves planning events. She loves connecting people and creating experiences where they feel seen and understood.
Her annual Harmony and Healing Fertility Wellness Retreat brings together women navigating infertility for a day of connection, reflection, and care.
For Kendra, facilitating these experiences doesn’t feel draining in the same way other professional responsibilities sometimes can.
It energizes her.
And that’s an important distinction.
We often spend so much time trying to improve the things we’re not naturally good at that we forget to ask:
What already comes naturally to me? What do I genuinely love doing? Where do I feel most like myself?
Finding your zone of genius isn’t necessarily about discovering one perfect career or business idea.
It’s about noticing the intersection of your natural gifts, your values, your experiences, and the ways you most enjoy contributing to the world.
For Kendra, that intersection includes reproductive mental health, community, connection, and creating experiences that help people feel less alone.
You Can Love Your Work and Still Burn Out
One of the more nuanced parts of our conversation is that even meaningful, energizing work can become too much.
Kendra is multipassionate. Alongside running her group practice and seeing clients, she’s developed support groups, retreats, professional trainings, consultation opportunities, and a fertility membership.
All of these offerings connect to her larger mission.
But that doesn’t mean she has unlimited capacity.
We discuss how easy it can be to get excited about a new idea without fully considering the time, energy, and resources required to bring it to life.
Sometimes the work that lights us up can also lead us to overextend ourselves.
Kendra shares a phrase she heard at a professional summit that’s helped guide her decisions:
“If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.”
For her, that means paying closer attention to what genuinely feels aligned, rather than automatically saying yes to every opportunity.
And importantly, recognizing that you don’t have to do everything all at once.
This is something I’m continually learning in my own work, too.
Creating a nourishing life isn’t about filling every moment with things we love.
It’s also about having the space to actually enjoy them.
What If Self-Doubt Didn’t Have to Stop You?
Another part of our conversation that really resonated with me was Kendra’s willingness to try things without knowing whether they’ll work.
She talks openly about the uncertainty that comes with launching new offerings, putting herself out there, and building a business.
Sometimes things work.
Sometimes they don’t.
But she’s learned that an idea not working doesn’t have to mean anything about her worth, her abilities, or her value as a person.
I think this is incredibly important.
So many of us have parts that want to protect us from rejection, embarrassment, failure, or shame.
Those parts may tell us to wait until we’re more confident, more prepared, or absolutely certain that something will succeed.
But what if confidence isn’t something we have to develop before taking action?
What if we build self-trust by showing ourselves, again and again, that we can handle uncertainty?
Kendra shares another phrase that captures this beautifully:
“Doubt yourself, do it anyway.” (Credit to Patrick Casale who shares this phase, and in fact gave the keynote at Rachel Bentley’s summit where Kendra and I first connected)
Not because our fears don’t matter.
But because we can learn to listen to them without letting them make every decision.
Entrepreneurship, Shame, and the Unexpected Work of Healing
One of my favorite parts of our conversation was exploring how entrepreneurship can become a powerful opportunity for personal growth.
When we create something that matters deeply to us and put it into the world, it can activate some very vulnerable parts of ourselves.
Parts that worry we’re not good enough.
Parts that interpret low enrollment, rejection, or a lack of response as evidence that we’re not worthy.
Parts that want to shrink back rather than risk being seen.
I share some of my own experiences learning to recognize and work with these parts, rather than waiting for them to disappear.
In many ways, I’ve come to see entrepreneurship as another opportunity to practice the same self-trust I help my clients develop.
We don’t have to eliminate shame or self-doubt before pursuing what matters to us. We can learn to create alongside those feelings.
And with practice, they don’t have to hold quite so much power.
This applies far beyond entrepreneurship.
Whether you’re exploring a new career, pursuing a creative interest, changing a relationship pattern, setting a boundary, or simply allowing yourself to want something different, learning to tolerate the discomfort of growth is part of becoming more fully yourself.
The Power of Community and Connection
Throughout our conversation, Kendra keeps returning to the importance of community.
Her work is built around creating spaces where people can connect through shared experiences, particularly experiences that can feel isolating or misunderstood.
But she also emphasizes the importance of community among professionals.
Connecting with other therapists, attending events, collaborating, and reaching out to people she admires have all helped her create new opportunities.
And she’s not afraid to ask.
I love this reminder that meaningful opportunities often begin with something surprisingly simple: reaching out, starting a conversation, or being willing to show up.
We don’t have to figure everything out alone.
Sometimes our next step becomes clearer through the people we meet along the way.
A Question to Reflect On
As you listen to this conversation, I invite you to consider:
What is something that genuinely lights you up, but that you’ve been holding yourself back from exploring?
And perhaps more importantly:
What would it look like to take one small step toward it, even if self-doubt came along?
You don’t have to know exactly where it will lead.
You don’t have to turn every passion into a business or every meaningful experience into a larger purpose.
Sometimes the most important thing is simply giving yourself permission to follow your curiosity and discover more of who you are.
Connect with Kendra Vargas
Kendra Vargas is a perinatal psychotherapist, group practice owner, clinical supervisor, and founder of Authentically You Psychotherapy in the Oak Park/Chicago area.
Her practice provides individual and group therapy focused on reproductive and perinatal mental health. She also offers fertility support groups, retreats, a fertility membership, and professional consultation and training.
Learn more about Kendra’s work:
- Website: Authentically You Psychotherapy
- Instagram: @ayoupsychotherapy
- LinkedIn: Connect with Kendra Vargas
Want to Go Deeper?
My work is about helping people move beyond simply managing symptoms or changing behaviors.
Whether you’re struggling with binge or emotional eating, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or feeling disconnected from yourself, our work together focuses on understanding what’s happening beneath the surface.
Through an integrative, parts-work-informed approach, I help you build self-trust, reconnect with what matters to you, and create a life that feels more authentic, meaningful, and alive.
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You can also connect with me on Instagram at @innovativetherapist or email me directly at info@drshawnhondorp.com.