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Episode 18. Today I sit down with Brianna Wilkerson to discuss her health journey and her relationship with food.
Brianna Wilkerson is a Holistic Health and Life Coach, wife and momma, chai tea lover and at-home crossfitter. She helps women find peace with food, feel confident in their bodies again, and develop a healthy lifestyle that’s more than just about their weight. You’ll leave sessions with her feeling supported and empowered to make simple, sustainable changes that work and fit into your life.
She is also an Essential Oils Advocate for doTERRA Essential Oils and loves helping women to use essential oils in simple, fun and effective ways for their health, home and family. You’ll leave her essential oils classes and consultations feeling excited and empowered to use essential oils in your daily life.You can find Brianna hanging out in the More Than Your Weight Women’s Community, on her Facebook Page or Instagram!
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Brianna’s Background – A Way to Feel in Control
She talked about losing weight without necessarily trying to in high school due to playing 3 sports and eating differently, and then getting comments about how good she looked.
She talked about how she noticed that when she looks a certain way, she belonged, and is valued and was seen
Starting 3 sports in high school and started losing weight. She described feeling “I belong, I’m valued, and I’m seen.” She stated that she is from the Cayman islands and they experienced a hurricane and experienced a lot of change, and focused on what she can control: eating, exercise, and performance in school.
She stated that she lived in the Cayman Islands and they were hit by a major hurricane which caused a lot of change and transition. She described feeling out of control at that time, and focusing on her eating, exercise, and her school performance in school.
Food as Comfort
She stated that a few years later food became something she went to for comfort. And regained all of the weight she had lost as well as a lot of shame and guilt. She noticed starting the dieting cycle for many years in attempts to fix feelings of shame.
She stated that an important shift was to re-connect with her faith and find her worth and her value in things that were not food or body related.
Finding Peace with Food and her Body
She stated that she did eventually lost weight and maintained that weight loss for 7 years prior to having her daughter recently. However, she noted that she was not trying to lose weight, but was really taking a wholistic approach to how she approaches her body and self-care, versus focusing on the number on the scale.
Anchoring in an Immovable Truth
Brianna talks about the importance of anchoring herself in an immovable truth. For Brianna, she stated that this was related to her faith and realizing that “I created by this God” and “there was no mistake in me.” She describes reflecting on this fact and this truth and the fact that others in her life believe this, and questioning why she did not. And eventually moving towards believing that truth that does not change based on what you achieve or don’t achieve.
We related to this the idea of unconditional self-worth.
Broadening Health Beyond Just Physical Health
She talked about how important it was for her to take a broader view of health, beyond just physical health. She talked about paying attention to personal development, career development, her spiritual growth, and reminding her of her value beyond her physical body.
Books Brianna is Reading
She is currently reading Intuitive Eating and finding it really helpful to remind her of some core concepts and refocus on connecting with her true hunger skills.
She is also reading When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies which talks about how women often displace feelings and emotions they need to process just on their bodies. When it really isn’t about their bodies at all.
The Concept of Primary Food
Brianna studied health coaching at Institute for Integrative Nutrition and stated that they talk about a concept called Primary Food was is related to the idea that “what primarily feeds us isn’t always on our plate.”
There is a lot to be gained when we broaden the view of health to include much more than our weight, and even our habits, including career, relationships, life purpose, hobbies, and self improvement.
Again, broadening the view of health beyond weight is key.
The Role of Shame and Guilt
She talked about her experiences with shame and guilt and feeling not enough and how they were primarily driven by internalized societal pressures, along with some comments about weight gain. She also noted that she found herself comparing her body to other women and to herself, and how unhelpful this was at the time.
Looking to the West for the Ideal Beauty Standard
She talked about the pressures to be smaller, with curves, and having straight hair.
She stated that growing up in the Cayman Islands, they were often looking at the Western European standard.
She talked about how the BMI category was unhelpful and how accepting body diversity and her own unique genetic blueprint was useful to her.
Really Becoming Aware of her Thoughts and Beliefs
She talked about the importance of being really open and honest with her true thoughts about herself and how key that is so that these thoughts come into awareness.
“I’m so tired of disliking my body despite the miraculous thing it just did.” (having a baby recently)
“I’m going to choose to love my body no matter what size, shape, and scale number it’s at.”
She talked about how she uses affirmations to improve self-talk.
If we are believing we don’t belong, we will find proof of that, all over.
Autonomous Love of Learning
Brianna talked about her love of reading and learning and her inherent drive to continue to learn and grow. She described feeling more like herself when she is continuing to learn and grow.
Connect with Brianna
You can find Brianna’s Free Food Freedom Journal here, and her main website here.
Takeaway Messages
Themes from this discussion, in terms of things that were most helpful for Brianna include:
- Overcontrolling food and our bodies often backfires. Whether it’s controlling eating and losing weight or emotional eating, dieting and unhealthy weight loss can and often is a way to defend against feeling out of control (e.g., in response to a hurricane or other major life change) and against guilt or shame.
- Body shame and unhelpful media messages about what is good or healthy is unhelpful for all of us, and noticing an uncoupling from those messages is really essential.
- Anchoring in an immovable truth about her worth, regardless of her weight and what she accomplishes, was key. For Brianna, this is related to her faith in God, but she stated that regardless of what that is, finding a way to notice when you don’t believe that, and shift towards unconditional self-worth is key for moving towards wholistic health.
- We must broaden our view of health to include not only physical health and what we eat and how we move, but also other areas of our well-being including spiritual health, relationships, career, and personal development. That is, “what primarily feeds us isn’t just on our plates.”
- Let’s help our bodies thrive, and know that physical health can fuel other areas of our lives and vice versa, it’s all connected.
- Stop the shaming on all sides. We talk about the polarization in the health space and how unhelpful it is in moving towards productive change for individuals and productive conversations among health professionals.
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider patient relationship.