How to Make Space and Create Truly Lasting Change

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Episode 38. This episode is a reflection on how things have been going, and the ways I’m working towards practicing what I preach.

I will cover:

A little update on some of the things going on with me lately
What I’ve learned over the past 9 months of being an entrepreneur and working fully in the way I want to with people
How I’m working to work smarter not harder and how you can do the same
Why we often need to slow down and create space to create true and lasting change
Reflections on our August Digital Declutter from the Digital Minimalism book

Want To Support Local Bookstores Near You?

Buy your books from Bookshop! Support local bookstores near you and this blog and podcast and help prevent Amazon from completely squashing the local book market.

I highly recommend Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World and will be talking about the impact it had on us in August in today’s episode.

Are You New Here?

Welcome! I’m so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.

We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why “I’m just not motivated” is a myth, and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.

Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Easy Podcast here!

Introduction: What is this podcast all about?
Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and Health
Episode 2: How Dieting Steals Our Motivation
Episode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)
Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress

Ready to motivate yourself in a truly effective way?

Are you sick of feeling pulled in a million directions, stressed about all the things you are not doing?

Tired of dieting and fixating on the scale, but unsure what else to focus on?

Does the term “anti-diet” make you think “anti-motivation?”

I’m here to tell you that moving away from dieting is the BEST way to cultivate lasting motivation for the things in your life that matter.

I should know. I spent 13 years of my life doing all the “good diets” under the sun. And what did I have to show for it? A whole lot of half completed food journals, mostly weight gain, a loss of belief in myself.

If you are ready to ask the question, what SHOULD I be focused on instead, then it’s time to take the first step: Getting SUPER clear on what matters to you right now.

This is the #1 strategy I hear over and over that is MOST HELPFUL in developing autonomous and sustainable motivation, is to clarify your values. Have you done it yet?

I do this exercise at least twice a year now, particularly when I’m feeling a bit lost and directionless.

Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals which will walk you through step by step a process to get started on clarify what matters to you, and what you should be focusing on at this season of your life. It’s never too late to stop dieting and start truly living.

How to Know When You Need to Create Some Space

Do you know your signs of stress or Impending burnout?

They’re different for everyone, and the first step in figuring out when it’s time to slow down is being attentive and having the ability to recognize those signs.

You may get irritable, unfocused, or scatterbrained. Or you might try to focus on things you can control, only to get angry or frustrated when they don’t go the way you want.

And if you DO recognize that you feel overly stressed, it’s probably time to create some space in your life for restoration.

A good way to better recognize signs of burnout is to actively live in the roots of the tree, or your inner thoughts and emotions about yourself and your life.

Always being in tune with your present self will allow you to take the necessary steps towards growth when you need to and avoid falling into negative patterns.

Pushing Harder, Faster, Stronger Can Be Incredibly Ineffective

Sometimes we try and force ourselves to feel suppressed emotions without really taking the necessary time and space to let it happen naturally. When we’re constantly pushing, that’s nearly impossible.

This is why creating space for ourselves is VITAL.

The other day, I decided to take some time to watch one episode of a Netflix show at the end of the day, which I hadn’t done in a while.

Just slowing down enough to watch one show was all I needed in order to connect with my emotions. I created a little bit of space, and the emotions finally came. I wasn’t trying, it just happened.

Realizing You Aren’t “There Yet” is Incredibly Frustrating

I do think at least for me, I’m “there” in terms of my relationship to food and body. For the most part.

However, I’m never “there” with having a perfect routine.

That’s always growing and changing and definitely has been one of my main struggles this year. I really thought I’d be self-employed, working from home, keeping a perfect exercise routine and running long distances again by now, but that’s not the case.

And that’s okay, but it can be frustrating when you don’t meet the expectations you have for yourself.

The Most Important Things I’ve Learned Over the Past 9 Months

The more we create space for ourselves and others, the more change occurs.

“It’s about the safe space where you can show up to another human, express what you have going on, not be judged for that, and be able to explore what’s going to work for you instead, and learning and growing over time”
Dr. Shawn Hondorp, PhD

In an upcoming episode where we talk to Emilee Van Hoven, she talks about creating more space for people to share their stories and how she truly believes it is the most effective thing she does.

Annyck Besso, MS, RD also talked about how important this is to her in episode 16. Communication is SO essential and although being vulnerable can be difficult, it is absolutely necessary in order to spark growth.

Change occurs in spaces where we feel we belong, we are safe to learn and grow, we have choices and respect, and we are set up for success with effective tools and strategies.

Can We Speed Up Change?

This is a question I’m still wondering about.

I think yes, when we don’t avoid the important stuff. When we dig deeper and determine the true causes, then lasting change occurs.

For me, that’s digging into why my worth is tied up with how much money I make, even though deep in my core I don’t believe that should be true.

Digital Minimalism and What It Taught Me

I loved that it was centered around autonomy, and didn’t insist anything like “you should do this” or “don’t do this”.

It was very balanced.

Cutting down on smartphone use is a GREAT way to create space for yourself. It can give you more time to take truly restorative breaks, and can also allow you to live more presently.

However, you don’t necessarily need to change anything if technology isn’t getting in the way.

If you’re able to use your smartphone while still ensuring that you are setting the boundaries necessary to take that time and space, then great! Do what works for you and your life.

What is Coming Up

I will be recycling our first four foundational podcast episodes and bringing those back to you in the next four weeks!

All of them have really valuable information, and I highly recommend giving them a listen if you haven’t already. And if you have, it wouldn’t hurt to brush up on your knowledge!

After that, we have three GREAT interview episodes for you. I just need some time and space to do them the justice they deserve.

How to Create Lasting Change

Create blank space. Turn off the phone, TV, even podcasts. Even if you are always listening to something, like I often am. Take breaks and pause. Mindfulness is incredibly effective in improving most things we are struggling with. Practice being in the present moment non-judgmentally.
Practice mindfulness of internal states. Just noticing the thoughts you are having, the emotions. Labeling them without judgment. I’m having the thought that, I have so much to do. I’m having the emotion of anxiety.
Practice mindfulness of external things. I highly recommend a walk outside, ideally in some nature. But you can also do this doing daily activities. Showering, noticing the feeling of the water on your skin, the smell of the soap. Washing the dishes, laundry, anything. There is value in bringing yourself back to here and now. And if you have 100,000 thoughts, that’s FINE. You aren’t doing it wrong, just bring it back.
Find non-judgmental support. This can be family, friends, a therapist or counselor or coach, anything really.

Where Do You Need to Create Space In Your Life?

Send me a message on Instagram at psychology.of.wellness or tag me in your post about how you are creating positive space for change in the next month!

Support Independent Bookstores Near You!

Did you know that that if nothing slows their momentum, Amazon will have almost 80% of the book market by the end of 2025?

Look, I love the convenience of Amazon, but I’ve got a super cool way that you can support local bookstores and my blog and podcast simply by buying books like you already do! You can choose any bookstore on the list in the US and Canada (they plan to expand to other counties in the future) OR you can just let the donation get split between all stores. As of this recording, they have raised 15 million dollars for local bookstores. On my bookshop, you will see my absolute favorite books related to health and wellness, courage and vulnerability, and even my favorite fiction and kids books!

My recent favorite related to improving the quality of our lives was Digital Minimalism. Our family actually has decided to do an optional screen free August to re-evaluate the role of screen time in our lives.

So if you believe in supporting local businesses, please consider buying your books through Bookshop from now on!

The Psychology of Wellness Bookshop Link.

Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider patient relationship.

Disclosure: Using the Bookshop.org links in this post means that I would get an affiliate fee if you purchase from the online bookshop (this supports my business, and local bookstores too!).