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Episode 29. This week I am going to reflect on some of the things I’ve learned and noticed while working with my clients lately. This episode will dive into questions like:
- Can you be an intuitive eater and still follow a certain style of eating, like plant-based, Mediterranean diet, or intermittent fasting? Heads up: These are complicated questions and answers with nuanced responses but I’m excited to dive into them.
- How do you know if you are really listening to your body, or giving in to pressures of others with regards to what you “should” eat?
- What if I really want to be vegan or go more plant-based but I’m worried it will become yet another diet? How can I tell what my underlying motivation actually is?
One of the things I’ve noticed in my time in the field is how confused people get when we say the word diet. Understandably so! This post and episode are going to break down some terms so that we are all on the same page, and really dig in to what makes dieting truly harmful, what aspects are pretty harmless (e.g., the word diet being used to describe simply how you are eating), and how this is going to vary from person to person. So, we will talk about some ways to know where you are at in your journey, and help yourself focus on what’s important now, versus getting thrown off track by various health messages that we are all bombarded with on a daily basis!
Are You New Here?
Welcome! I’m so glad to have you. You might be wondering what this blog and podcast are all about.
We relate everything in this podcast back to motivation, but not the hustle and grind kind. Truly sustainable motivation that keeps you feeling energetic and engaged in your life for the long haul. We talk about why “I’m just not motivated” is a myth, and why the TYPE of motivation you have is so important to fully understand. If you are ready to learn about motivation and respecting your body in an effective way so that you can live a life you truly love, you are in the right place.
Check out the Foundational Episodes of the Motivation Made Easy Podcast here!
- Introduction: What is this podcast all about?
- Episode 1: Want to Get & Stay Motivated? A Crash Course on Motivation, Weight Loss, and Health
- Episode 2: How Dieting Steals Our Motivation
- Episode 3: How To Get Motivated To Improve Your Health (Motivation 101)
- Episode 4: How to Transform Health Fears Into Forward Progress
“I’m terrified I’m wasting my life.”
I wrote this in a journal in the middle of the diet-binge cycle. And frankly, I kind of was.
I’m here to tell you it’s never too late to gain control of your eating, respect your body, and live a life that’s TRULY consistent with your values. But you need to take the first step.
One of the very first steps in developing truly autonomous and body respecting motivation is to clarify what actually matters to you. Not your mom, not your sister, not your best friend, YOU.
The more you reflect on this, the more you can connect your values to your behaviors in a sustainable and empowering way.
Grab the free guide at DrHondorp.com/goals and get started today. I promise you, it’s never too late to stop dieting and start truly living. You will not regret it.
Intuitive Eating as a Framework, Not Dogma
Intuitive Eating is a self-care framework that began back in 1995 with a book called Intuitive Eating written by dietitians Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.
It’s an incredible book, and it’s now on it’s 4th edition.
I did a prior episode called What is Intuitive Eating and How Can It Help Me? where we went into the 10 principles in some depth. I will be having some guests coming up talking more about the HOW of Intuitive Eating, so make sure you stay tuned for those.
Intuitive Eating as a Framework for Regaining Autonomy
Autonomous motivation or autonomous choice is freedom to behave a certain way without excessive pressure.
There are many components to Intuitive Eating, but one that I believe is incredibly powerful with regards to making autonomous choices or feeling free and in control is related to the concept of unconditional permission to eat. This means that you throw out food rules and shoulds and you truly give yourself permission to eat, meaning you choose an eating style that is right for you.
For most, this requires a lot of trial and error, particularly in the beginning as you are essentially learning how to eat in response to your body’s cues versus some external “expert” telling you what to eat.
Most dieters, myself included, find this challenging or at least very, very different than what they are used to.
Giving Ourselves True Choice Means Moving Beyond Old Food Judgments
A lot of times when I see someone struggling to implement an intuitive eating framework, they are struggling with the concept that it truly is okay to eat any food. Many times, old diet mentality, “should” thinking and fears around food have them thinking things like:
- But there’s no nutritional value in this food
- But if I eat this, I will feel really badly, so I really can’t (physically and emotionally)
- Well yeah, don’t be rigid, but I truly don’t need to eat a whole pizza, that isn’t healthy
- I can’t do Intuitive Eating, I have diabetes
- I can’t do this, my body mass index says I’m “obese”
The interesting thing about intuitive eating is really this idea that many people truly DON’T believe they have a choice. And therein lies the problem. You ALWAYS have a choice. Yes, some food choices are going to make you feel better than others, and some food choices, if you make them again and again, absolutely could lead to worsening health. But it’s still a choice even when it does not feel like it. You just aren’t giving it to yourself.
If you are like most people, you might have some objections to that statement. Like “Shawn, you are NOT getting this. I have no choice. I must improve my health NOW, so I can X, Y, Z.”
I hear you, but stay with me.
“But Shawn, I Really Don’t Have a Choice. I have to change NOW.”
A few months ago, I gave a virtual talk to some folks that were working on finishing their dissertations. I was talking about having autonomous motivation and how to turn a should into a want to, or a “choose to.”
I shared that it’s important to remind yourself you do actually have a choice. You can finish your dissertation, or not. It’s your life. You actually do have autonomy.
One of the talk participants challenged me. She said, “No, I really don’t have a choice. If I don’t finish, I will have to pay back money that I got for a scholarship. I need to finish so I can get a job, not have to pay back that money, and support my children.” She seemed frustrated with the idea or the suggestion that she had a choice. I imagine she probably thought I didn’t fully understand her situation.
We Always Have a Choice, Even when There are Very Negative Consequences to a Certain Choice
People often tell me they don’t have a choice. They have to eat better. This happened in many settings, but especially often when I worked in a cardiology clinic and would work with people in cardiac rehab after they had a heart attack. Many times they would be following a low sodium, low animal products diet, and would tell me, “I have to do this now, Shawn. I have no choice.”
Often they had concerned family members nagging them about every morsel that they put in their mouth, which understandably they were not a fan of.
Again, I’d challenge them. Actually, you do have a choice. “Right now, you are choosing to follow that diet and listen to your family, and your doctor.”
My statements are not an attempt to minimize the consequences if they were to, for example, return to their previous high animal protein and high stress diet. However, instead they were an attempt to remind them they do have agency in their life, even when it does not feel like it.
Side Note: I’m not going to delve into the discussion today about whether all behaviors are a choice versus part of a disease. Not because that discussion isn’t important, but it’s VERY nuanced and we just don’t have time. I’m referring to people feeling forced into making a certain choice because of external pressures (e.g., I must be thin, healthy, I must finish this doctoral program), versus feeling like they have autonomy and agency over their life.
Intuitive Eating Explained
Choice Means Freedom – With Food and Otherwise
When I was in grad school, my friend Dr. Sapna Doshi and I would commiserate on the length of the program. It’s a long haul. 5-6 years total after undergrad depending on your pace through it.
We would often tell each other, “Just finish your master’s degree, then you can quit if you want.” We were… mostly joking. I think. But it made us feel better. Less stuck. Mind you, it would have been quite a poor financial choice to do this, similar to the person I mentioned above.
Have you ever done this? Reminded yourself you have choices, an out, options to feel less pressure and less stuck? I’ve done this with work too. Even if I didn’t plan on leaving a job anytime soon, I’d tell myself, “hey, if it gets too bad, you have options.”
Even the process of job searching at times could feel freeing. Like, “Okay, you aren’t stuck here. You do have choices.”
I can’t tell you how many of my friends in grad school would fantasize and say “If this doesn’t work out, I can just open a cute little coffee shop!”
Choice is a Privilege
I do realize that having choices is a privilege and not everyone has the same choices or opportunities whatsoever, and that’s a major problem. It’s something that needs to change. Frankly, the whole conversation about moving away from diet culture and towards intuitive eating and health is often one filled with immense privilege.
As a person with many forms of privilege, I realize that sometimes people’s frustrations with my reminders that they have choice comes from a place of feeling misunderstood. And frankly, that’s an incredibly valid way to feel.
AND, although at times it might seem like I do, I definitely don’t claim to understand all situations- how you feel about your eating, weight, and choices you can make with regards to your body, your health, or anything else. And that’s really one of my points about Intuitive Eating, or at least the way I think about it. It’s a framework, under which you have full autonomy and control over your life.
I just know that even when your choices are more limited, reminding yourself you do have them can be a source of empowerment and developing autonomy and ownership. And that’s wherein the power of Intuitive Eating lies, in my opinion. It’s freedom of choice.
So How Does This Apply to Intuitive Eating and Vegan or Plant-Based Diets or frankly any other eating pattern?
I often talk to folks who think Intuitive Eating means you must follow an unstructured, free-flowing eating pattern, where you wake up and eat whatever your heart desires all day. You can’t follow a vegan diet; that wouldn’t be Intuitive Eating. Or you can’t follow a plant-based diet. Or even an intermittent fasting diet. That would never truly be Intuitive Eating.
Even at times in the body acceptance, anti-diet online space it can become rigid with regards to the message. For example, if you are exercising 4 times per week, you must still be in diet mentality. We chatted about this with Jenn Radke in Episode 8, check out that convo for more details.
When really, Intuitive Eating is a framework, a way of relating to food and yourself. And within that framework, you can choose any darn eating style and exercise pattern you’d like. And who knows, maybe it ends up being fully vegan, or resembles a keto/Paleo diet, or even intermittent fasting. I truly have no idea what it will look like for you, and that’s the whole point.
Intuitive Eating is Choice
You can be anti-diet and follow a plant-based diet, or any other eating style/philosophy. Everyone has a diet and it’s hard to capture the anti-diet message in two words, four words, or even a paragraph.
Shawn Hondorp, PhD
Only you can decide, within an Intuitive Eating framework, what the best eating style is for you.
For most people, this is a process.
A process of asking questions like:
- Am I really doing this because I think I’ll feel good and/or it’s consistent with MY values?
- Or do I think I should? Am I feeling the pressure that I must do this to drop weight quickly, even though I don’t think it’s truly a healthful way to eat or live?
- Am I eating this way due to an overfocus on weight loss? Is the weight loss goal overriding a style of eating that would actually be healthy and feel good for me?
- Where does the desire to follow this eating plan really come from?
The Relationship with Food is the #1 Priority
For most folks, I think it’s really helpful to consider your relationship with food first and foremost, and check in with yourself about whether it’s diet mentality and food rules, versus you just truly thinking you will feel best eating that way.
It’s your body and your life, and you truly do know best, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You need guidance probably, like most of us do. But you are still the expert on you.
The Right Eating Pattern Will Likely Change Over Time
Most likely, the eating style you choose will evolve over time. For me, after reading Intuitive Eating, I followed no specific eating style for many years. I just started really eating the foods I liked. But interestingly, I was often still trying to eat foods that I thought were “good for me” or would keep me full, like chicken, turkey burgers etc. I never loved those foods all that much. I frankly hate cooking chicken at home (raw chicken is just not a fun thing to deal with), but I sometimes eat it out still. I was only eating those foods because I thought they would fill me up.
Years after reading Intuitive Eating I joined a Preventive Cardiology clinic where we talked about the science behind plant-based eating and whole food plant-based diets. At this point, I was incredibly grounded in a non-diet relationship with food, so I wasn’t concerned about trying a new eating pattern.
In fact, I am a little embarrassed to say that I even tried this 3 day low calorie eating plan once through Beachbody. I never went back to diet mentality, and I just stopped following it altogether because I was too hungry.
You Can and Will Learn to Trust Yourself with Food and Food Decisions
It gets easier over time and everyone’s journey will be a different timeline and process.
But as we often say on this podcast, anti-diet or non-diet approaches are not anti-health. Rather, they’re just the opposite. They are prioritizing the food relationship first and foremost, which is incredibly useful for most of us, since so many of us are impacted by diet culture in ways we don’t even realize.
But as you change and evolve, don’t rush the process. However, you can and will likely find new ways of eating and moving that feel great, and from an outsider who doesn’t know your thoughts and feelings it could possibly look like you are on a “diet”.
It’s a Tricky Line to Balance
As a health professional talking about these things, it’s important to be cautious. And yet, as you heal from a chronic diet cycle, you absolutely can and will find an eating style that’s the best fit for you, and it will evolve over time. That might be very similar to what you are eating right now, or who knows, it might be fully vegan. Mine has evolved over time, and I imagine it will continue to do so.
Anti-Diet & Intermittent Fasting?
Intermittent fasting is all the rage these days. Like most things, it isn’t “new” per se, but at the same time, it’s new in many ways and there’s more and more coming out about it.
I’m a big believer in challenging statements that don’t feel accurate. I believe it’s possible to move away from a diet mentality and still do intermittent fasting. However, I would be extremely cautious and skeptical if you have a strained relationship with food. I haven’t seen it work with any of my clients, and I think for binge eating it would likely not be a good plan, at least at the early stages.
However, having blanket statements like “people with a history of disordered eating should never do intermittent fasting” does not make sense to me. Not because I think they ever should, but because I think they should have choice. And we should trust humans to make the choices that are best for them.
I have a history of a significant eating disorder, and if I ever did intermittent fasting, it would be from a very internally motivated place, and I would have no fears about doing it, or my motivation. I frankly don’t plan to try it, but if I did, I know it would be for reasons of wanting to feel better, seeing if it helps me accomplish goals and whether or not it works with my lifestyle.
There is No One Size Fits All
To sum up, Intuitive Eating and the Health at Every Size movement, to me, are frameworks that make sense. Within those frameworks, my hope is that they free up more people to stop focusing on weight loss, start respecting and listening to their bodies, and make the choices for their bodies from an internal, autonomous, less pressured place.
I will never claim to know the perfect eating or exercise style for you, and I think you should be skeptical of anyone that does. You are the boss of you. Even though it’s an incredibly hard journey to re- learn to trust yourself, it’s a journey worth taking.
Support Independent Bookstores Near You!
Did you know that that if nothing slows their momentum, Amazon will have almost 80% of the book market by the end of 2025?
Look, I love the convenience of Amazon, but I’ve got a super cool way that you can support local bookstores and my blog and podcast simply by buying books like you already do! You can choose any bookstore on the list in the US and Canada (they plan to expand to other counties in the future) OR you can just let the donation get split between all stores. As of this recording, they have raised 15 million dollars for local bookstores. On my bookshop, you will see my absolute favorite books related to health and wellness, courage and vulnerability, and even my favorite fiction and kids books!
My recent favorite related to improving the quality of our lives was Digital Minimalism. Our family actually has decided to do an optional screen free August to re-evaluate the role of screen time in our lives.
So if you believe in supporting local businesses, please consider buying your books through Bookshop from now on!
The Psychology of Wellness Bookshop Link.
Disclaimer: This blog and podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individual professional advice or treatment, including medical or mental health advice. It does not constitute a provider patient relationship.
Disclosure: Using the Bookshop.org links in this post means that I would get an affiliate fee if you purchase from the online bookshop (this supports my business, and local bookstores too!).